Heather Gold, Deborah Schultz, & Kevin Marks
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Thomas Knoll joins Heather, Kevin, and Deb to talk about love, community architecture, Zappos, tech, and humanity.
Heather & I got into a side conversation about ‘relational everything’ which we’re moving here – Thomas Knoll said “It’s love” – I said “the knowledge that ALL firings in the brain go through the emotional part first and create an emotional response whether we want it to or not is rather liberating – it’s OK as a man to say that literally everything (all senses) create emotional response which has traditionally been feminine domain.”
Heather said “When I dig into this you’ll see I don’t mean feminine as something only women CAN do. It’s just something we’ve BEEN doing a lot longer. it’s the way we’ve labelled certain skills and behaviours and most a way of being that’s relational. It’s based on emotional skills and they’re learnable” and “men have more learning of the skills to do” and “Im going to put the disruptive message out there first.”
I’m responding – Yes! I believe we’re looking at the same object and describing it from slightly different viewpoints and I can’t disagree with anything you (Heather) said and especially agree men do have a larger learning burden in the relational realm and love and agree about the disruptive message first – most certainly the correct way to go.
And then I said “To me the most interesting part is generational because I believe even Thomas’ generation is not as fully relational as today’s high school students (can you believe one high school outlawed hugging on campus?!) – how is that future relational consumerism going to affect our world?
And Heather responded “It’s relational everything. i actually don’t think relational consumerism is possible. Once relational the word “consumerism doesn’t make sense to me….”
And I’m responding – OK, I guess I’m redefining or couching consumerism in a different light – what I’m saying is what’s going to happen to our world when consumers choose to only do business with those who are relational? – In fact that hits at my primary argument – I’m saying ‘it’s all relational, including consumerism – in the past, consumer activism was against the impersonal corporation – I’m asking will the impersonal anything survive? Can you have consumer activism in an (admittedly idealistic) relational only world? I argue the impersonal will be forced to diminish and that because of greed and other vices consumer activism will continue to take action against those who only want to take advantage of relationships for their own gain.
I had such a great time with y’all. Thank you so much for inviting me into your tribe!
Loved having you Tom. You bring it to the heart. Love. It’s not something that shows up much in business or tech discussions but it’s probably important that we learn to avoid it less.
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